After much (very much) deliberation, numerous conversations (thanks for listening and for your input), lots of reading, and a dash of angst and anguish, I have decided to proceed with the surgery. It must have taken 10 days to get the surgery scheduled after my original phone message saying that I wanted to schedule. Those days were basically hell. On March 31st, I got the call, and now I know that May 1st is "The Day." The surgery will be performed at Tampa General Hospital by Dr. Vale.
Bottom line...I want it out! I want the seizures to stop, and I want to quit wondering if each simple partial seizure will be followed by a grand mal. I want to be able to drive and regain my independence. I want this done before the slow growing tumor becomes a fast growing one and the surgery becomes more difficult and likely less effective. I don't want to continue on anti-seizure medications (which aren't working) for 15 years before deciding to have surgery. So...I am going to have brain surgery. Yikes!! I mean really??? Is this my life??? Part of me can't believe it, and part of me believes what I always tell my son (and previously my students) "Got a problem...Get a plan." So my plan is brain surgery.
In the meantime, I'm enjoying every moment! Bryce and I are taking lots of long strolls. He's taking steps here and there.
Bottom line...I want it out! I want the seizures to stop, and I want to quit wondering if each simple partial seizure will be followed by a grand mal. I want to be able to drive and regain my independence. I want this done before the slow growing tumor becomes a fast growing one and the surgery becomes more difficult and likely less effective. I don't want to continue on anti-seizure medications (which aren't working) for 15 years before deciding to have surgery. So...I am going to have brain surgery. Yikes!! I mean really??? Is this my life??? Part of me can't believe it, and part of me believes what I always tell my son (and previously my students) "Got a problem...Get a plan." So my plan is brain surgery.
In the meantime, I'm enjoying every moment! Bryce and I are taking lots of long strolls. He's taking steps here and there.
(I'll add a picture when I figure that out.)
Nicholas is playing soccer, enjoying Kindergarten, and reading!
Jeff and I finally have a babysitter and have been getting out for date nights and nights out with friends.
(I'll add a picture when I figure that out.)
As a family, we're heading to the Smoky Mountains for Spring break next week. One of the first trips Jeff and I took together was backpacking in the Smokies. Despite the unexpected snow, unreached destinations, and crazy altitude changes (up and up and up), I loved it, and I knew that "we" were the real deal! This time, we'll share that special place with the kids. Don't worry, we'll be car camping and day hiking.
Like I said before, I'm enjoying every moment, and I hope you do the same!
14 comments:
Hey Emily,
Take care and have a great vacation! I'll be thinking about you. If you need ANYTHING, please call. Ben would love to play with Nicholas anytime. Take care.
Love,
Laura
Emily -
Love your blog! It is so much easier to get the information out to all the inquiring minds this way! I just wish I could be there to help out - but things are really hectic up here from now until the first week of June! Let me know if there is anything I can do from Louisiana. Wish you were coming here next week instead of the Smokies - but know you will have a wonderful, sentimental time there!
Love, Monte
Oh Em! I have been thinking about you constantly over the past couple months and hoping and praying for a cure other than surgery; however, it is so obvious that you have made a very educated decision...and I am sure it is the right one! The Blog is great...I'll quit harrassing your answering machine :0)
Keep being strong and remember you have so many people who love you and are rooting for you!
With love,
Lynn
Em:
I am so happy that you have posted this blog. I know it can be hard to share the scary parts of our lives, but it is awesome to really understand what you have been going thru and where you are going.
As for the big decision, I am very excited for you and your family. I am praying for you and I am so positive that you will have great results!!!
In the mean time, have a great time in the Smokies... I'm jealous, and you know how much I love getting outdoors.
Love you,
A
Dear Emily: Love to you from your cousins in Farmville VA. I have never blogged before! You have taught me something! We will say prayers for all of your family.
Lucie Z
ciEmily you have been in thoughts since you told me at the Hucksters reunion. I'm glad to hear that you have a plan. You have a great attitude and a wonderfull spirit, things will turn around soon. Enjoy the smokies with your family...I'll keep thinking of you and your loved ones.
Love
Jacqueline
Emily,
It was great to see you at spring fest. You had such a great certainity to yourself that just exuded strength and power. I am proud to know you and am inspired by your courage. These life choices we make make us who we are. The brain surgery is going to happen but it is not you, it is just a part of you. I love you and am happy that you have come into my life. My prayers are with you.
Mandy
Emily, my name is Pat Goodwin James and I went to high school with your mother; my husband Kermit and I both know your mother actually--and we live in Apopka Fl.
Through our Highland Springs 1959 high school grapevine I heard about your blog just now and here I am to say that we are going to be pulling for you and for her in all of this. And that I hope your current trip to the mountains is wonderful.
I think your decision is as brave as can be, and I am impressed with your blog "ride" as much as I am your "life ride."
My best to you and to your mom.
Hi Em! Excellent idea, this blog. Carmen and I have been keeping up with things as best we could through the Carnegie grapevine (Jeff will explain). Far better to hear your story first hand though.
Please know that you are on our minds often and that we wish you a speedy recovery.
Love,
Mark & Carmen
Hi Emily,
I admire your strength in making this difficult decision. My thoughts are very much with you Emily,
Donna Quisenberry
Hey Emily,
So sorry to hear what you've been going through. My thoughts are with you - can't wait to hear about the success of your surgery! It sounds like you're in good hands. Thanks for sharing. I love ya' girl!
Andy
Hi Emily, thanks for doing this blog so we know how you and your family are doing. You are a wonderful mother and your boys are such great little people. That is because of all the love and care and thought that you give to all aspects of your life. You are such a pleasure to be around and you bring so much to our group of parents here at Baby Bungalow. You will weather all of this with strength and grace! Alex
Emily,
You can do this. You have tons of love and support - including mine!
Becky
Hi Emily,
This is Katy, your fellow soccer mom! I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you. I have asked God to give you peace and to grant the doctors wisdom and precision. I hope to hear good news soon. May God grant you a speedy and complete recovery.
love,
Katy
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